How to Handle a Picky Eater

Give your child healthy choices, but don’t make food an issue

The dinner dishes are barely cleared and your child is whining, “I’m hungry.” You bargained over bites, but still threw away a plateful of food. You don’t want to send him to bed with a rumbling tummy, but you don’t want to give in either. What to do?

Don’t worry—it’s normal for children’s eating habits to change as they grow. Once out of the highchair, it’s harder for a little one to sit through a meal, says Moshe Markowitz, M.D., pediatrician at Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. And growth rate slows between ages 1 and 5, so children don’t need as much food. But parents often panic and set up habits that can develop into lifelong eating problems.

“Some parents become short-order cooks or make trade-offs to get their children to eat,” says Mildred Bentler, pediatric nutritionist with Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “Children learn quickly how to get Mom and Dad to give them what they want. When parents negotiate, they usually lose.”

The right approach, she says, is this: You control what you serve and when; they decide what they’ll eat.
Take the big picture and look at what your child eats over several days, not just one day, Bentler says. If he balks at one meal, make him wait until the next scheduled meal or snack. (Children under 5 should eat about six times a day, those 5 and over about five times.)

Don’t feel you need to make food extra appealing. “Moms today don’t have time to make bunny pancakes,” Bentler says. “It’s breakfast, not a catered event!”

More suggestions for getting children to eat right:

• Don’t overwhelm them with choices. It’s OK to offer one or two options for breakfast and lunch, but what you serve for dinner is what everyone eats.
• Encourage them to try new foods (it may take a few times), but serve at least one old favorite.
• Remember that a child’s portion is significantly less than an adult’s. A half-sandwich may be enough.
• Be patient and consistent, and don’t let them “graze” all day. Eventually they’ll eat at the expected times.
• Stock your shelves with healthy food and snacks. They’ll eat them if they’re truly hungry.
• Involve children in menu planning and food preparation so they feel some “ownership” in the meal.
• Don’t make dessert a reward. You’ll send the message that they need to get through the “yucky stuff” to get to the good stuff.
• Make sure the rules apply to everyone, including parents.
• Start healthy eating habits as young as possible; the older children get, the harder it is to change.

As for nutritional supplements, generally they’re not necessary, Markowitz says. If you’re concerned about your child’s nutrition, talk to the doctor.

“As long as your children look healthy and are growing and gaining weight, they’re fine,” he says. “It’s not really about food, it’s about power and control. If parents offer variety while setting limits, children will learn to eat right.”

Want to Know More? For a list of healthy breakfast choices for children, call 610-402-CARE, or click here.

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